Inertia, Acceleration, Velocity, and Chaos

Early in the afternoon I sit here with greasy hair matted to my head and grain of sleep crusted into my eyepits. I need to be centered for what is coming. I have not showered in a few days. I have fallen back to my thought sink.

I knew I had become complacent as soon as my friends- Mr. De Rivera and Mr. Jordan- came back from college. I had a little money and some friends to hang out with. After being on the verge for months I was easily satisfied. I thought maybe I would write a post about complacency and how I knew it would bite me in the ass, but I did not and it bit me a while ago.

I worked full time a couple weeks at Atlanta Bonded Warehouse; they finished the Easter orders, and now the dry spell has begun. Mr. De Rivera had picked up an excellent pc strategy game from a few years back that I had not paid any attention to; I went out and bought it the night he showed it to me. Then Royal Staffing called and told me I did not need to come in to work, so I had plenty of time to play it.

Me and mother are at odds over that. I did not make the best use of my time.

Perhaps a thought sink, as a reliever of great pressure, will only function under great pressure. I have some pressure again now.

College. I have not talked about it. I am not going to start, just yet. But it was always my vague intention to get my plan made for it as soon as I got on top of work. I have not gotten on top of work, but it has fallen out from beneath me, which is about the same thing. In about two weeks will be the absolute worst time all year to be looking for a job. But I was supposed to start looking into college a month ago, while I was busy holding together for work.

Mother's attitude toward my life resembles an impatient person waiting for an elevator; they press the button and wait, and press it again, and again, without any really consciousness of what is going on in the shaft. They just keep pressing the button.

Mom told me that I have to register for college. She used the word register becuase she has made little effort to distinguish it from getting admitted. She is doing a little better today, after we talked. Some idea what is going on behind the elevator doors. Of course I actually spend a lot of energy keeping her uninformed, so that it is more difficult for her to try and make decisions for me.

Chattahoochee Technical College is down the road from me. They start their winter quarter on January fifth. Today is open registration. After five days of frantic research- Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Today- I am going to go down there today and try and get admitted, get the results of my grant request, and possibly register.

School is not a fond memory for me.

Wish me luck. 
Included @ 12/17/2003 02:24:00 PM; And so on, etcetera, etcetera.

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